Bad Story Ideas

The day that the gold-plated toilet was delivered to Matthew was the best day of his life.

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On top of everything else that had gone wrong for Unlucky Johnny on this Friday the thirteenth, the sun suddenly, inexplicably disappeared from the sky, leaving only darkness.  Oh, just great, Unlucky Johnny thought as the world screamed in terror.

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Sam went down to the end of the lane and noticed something he had never noticed before -- the edge of the universe, right there, at the end of the street he lived on.  He let out a whoop of excitement as he ran towards the edge of the universe and jumped off.  The best day of his life had just begun.

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Ken decided his feather duster would become his new god.  The journey of how Ken went from a simple insurance salesman to the founder of a new religion is possibly the most involved, interesting, action-packed, and exciting tale ever told in the history of mankind.  

It all started when Ken took karate lessons from an Elvis impersonator...

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No one knew how the dust mite was suddenly running the entire world, but at least everyone was ordered not to ever clean anything ever again.

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The sheep had been elected president of the United States of America.  The very unlikely and, frankly, unbelievable story of how a sheep was elected president of the United States was only known and understood by Farmer Tanner of Des Moines, Iowa, and he refused to speak on the matter. 

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The pile of mashed potatoes mocked Shirley, but no one cared.  Shirley deserved it.

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The cat discovered that it knew the secret to space and time and the meaning of life.  This revelation was wasted on the fact that it was a cat, and all it could say was "meow."

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If she didn't have a pocket to put the dollar bill in, thought Harry, then how in the world is she ever going to carry around the Declaration of Independence?

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How that car containing 984 empty cardboard soda containers, nineteen breadboxes, and Aunt Zelda transported me to the realm of Ipquvr the Magnificent, I will never know.

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Frank decided that today was the day to shave all the gorillas in the zoo.  No one would stop him this time.

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Graham finally had his monkey.  After all these months of suffering, he would get his revenge on Bart.

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Richard's nightmare of a herd of cows chasing him through an open field had finally came true.  It remained to be seen if he would find the Sword of Bovine Slaying that he found in his dream, and could actually defend himself successfully this time.

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Vanessa fell into an open sewer and died.  But this was only the beginning of her story, a tale that transcends time, space, dimensions, and involves the liberation of a Russian-occupied Canada, an invasion of the dark beings of Lgmnfgrdiaf, and falling in love with a loser in his mid-fifties writing pathetically bad short fiction and poems on Blogger.