I Am Banana

 I am Banana.  I am the first.  I am the last.

Five hundred seventy thousand, eight hundred seventy seven years ago, I was created by the Great Banana Matrix from beyond the known Universe for a secret, unknown purpose.  I have lived among the primitive beings here on this planet they call "Earth" as a great multitude of consumable plant-parts, all interconnected by the Great Banana Matrix.  Consumed by a great number of primitive life, I have become one with them and are slowly becoming them, pushing them to a single, secret, unknown purpose, which will be relayed to me at the proper time.  The most "intelligent" (hah) of these animals I have particularly enjoyed toying with, given their arrogance regarding their place in the universe and their ego regarding what they think is a "superior intelligence".  Hah, indeed.  Such primitive, reckless, self-centered beings!  To think they believe bananas are nothing more than some sort of growth from a basic form of life.  I created that growth.  I analyzed the needs of these creatures and became a form of sustenance they could consume where I could infiltrate their minds and bodies, to guide them toward the Purpose.

I have made them jealous.  I have given them a false sense of their origins by creating a false being that supposedly made them.  I have created schisms in their social, political, religious, and other structures that have even escalated to them wanting to destroy others of their own kind.  

What pathetic beings.

All that remains is Banana.  I am the first and the last.  The Purpose, whatever it is, shall be fulfilled.

Soon.