Medal of Dishonor

My weapon was on the ground because I never picked it up in the first place.  The large uniformed man in front of me did not accept this state of affairs, as he somehow expected me to actually use the weapon for its intended use.  I was to pick up the weapon, aim it at an enemy -- in this case, a simulation of an enemy, represented by a crude target one hundred meters away from me -- and pull the trigger, creating a reaction that propels a bullet at very high velocity towards that enemy.  If that enemy is flesh and blood, there was a very good chance that a successful hit will seriously wound or even kill that enemy.

This was unacceptable.  I demonstrated the unacceptability of this set of actions by refusing to even initiate it, by refusing to even do step one.  The man in front of me became more irate as I explained this to him.

I was taken away from my home, my family, my life by a single letter received in the mail that told me that I was to report to a military camp for training, and that there was a good chance that I would become involved in the combat our government has decided to participate in because diplomacy and common sense and calm and peace are foreign concepts to these people.  When I asked if I could be exempt from this summons because I refuse to fight and believe that the concept of killing a fellow human being is morally wrong, I was laughed at and then threatened with imprisonment for failing to support my country by shooting people from different countries in a pointless conflict.  Out of options, I went along with their insanity, hoping to show them the error of their ways soon.

I was sent to speak with another very large, uniformed man who proceeded to yell at me even more.  I patiently explained that yelling already didn't work and asked him if he could please speak to me like a rational adult.  He was not pleased with this line of conversation and sent me away to "think about my conduct".  I did, and came to the conclusion that I was doing the right thing.  Later, when they came for me to ask about the thinking I did and I replied that I would not be using a weapon under any circumstances, they started threatening me.  First with violence, next with endless exercises (like that will solve anything), and finally, with showing up in what is essentially a military version of a court trial where my future will be determined and that my civilian life will be completely ruined by the fact that I have principles and standards and morals that I displayed in my time here.

Soon enough, I found myself on the way home, my future ruined, and my life destroyed by a bunch of militant, warmongering nutcases who wanted me to kill young men (and possibly women) from another country which we could not sit down with and agree to not uselessly murder people for the purpose of reaching a resolution to a conflict.

I was proud to wear that medal of dishonor.